So the hard decision is taken to just run a Marathon today. Without Bessie. Advise from others ring in my ears and the fact my knee cap is now detracking and causing crippling agony and I have to admit potentially serious long term damage, well I’ll have to.
This knock on cycle of injury all on my right leg is simply hell!! The rest of me is okay! ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I have to also think that I’m not going to be able to do any other challenges or even finish this one if I don’t. I am furious beyond measure and want to cry at my stumble now, I have media days and possible time and determine to make amends in any lost efforts.
I am caught in the most depressingly stressful and worrying time, which seeps into everything. My much needed sleep is often full of nightmares and I wake from those or from pains from moving in vain attempts to gain some medium of comfort and then sleep. This degradation adds another accumulating weight and burden.
I am becoming irritable and my patience thins to a wafer.
Tasks are increasingly tiresome but I knuckle down.Writing a blog becomes a monumental task…. especially when you’re a semi illiterate and two right thumbed average Joe such as I.
The really crucial tasks like stretching, themselves are by nature time intensive and this is, commitment is increasing. Tasks and admin eat away at any non marathon time, which is also increasing in duration! All I want is sleep!
So I slowly and very tentatively set off and soon leave the village of Carnwath and I’m into the rolling countryside with a reasonable pace. There is very very little traffic and this is a comfort as I just want to focus on my running style and try to run correctly. It feels great to be running without the weight of Bessie and without the many issues like the constant wrist numbing unpredictable weaving and rattling of the wheelchair that communicates repeated torsional stresses to all of your joints. Thirteen miles pass in relative ease and I’m being sensible in stretching every 15 minutes and trying to stretch out my quads which is very painful too do due to my ankle injuries. I must though as that is exactly what, in part, is contributing to the detracking of my kneecap.
I focus and jog on. The only visitors to greet me are a cheery Llama and the torment of clouds of very determined flies all wishing to suck and bite off my sweat soaked face, more so than any other leg before, but I’m doing well and this carries me through this minor torment.
Alas my happy hopeful times quickly come to an abrupt halt.
The opening up of and correct use of my running gait alarmingly starts to create a rapidly worsening state on the injuries from day 2 on the front of my ankle.
This increasingly becomes more and more painful and debilitating and my pace slows quickly until I’m walking and slow jogging at 18 miles..
This is my WORST fear coming true and stretches in growing frequency bare little ongoing relief. This cycle cracks me and I hobble to a bridge and rest and, I’m afraid, cry. I write this and wish to again. I feel nauseous at the thought of tomorrow.
I met not a soul on my journey, not a soul pulled over.Not a kind word and no chance to get and donations..
I cant write anymore.. tomorrow is another day. I can and I will.